Mingelhzia-A Feminist Response

Mingelhzia—A Feminist Response

Dear Zomi,
I have been closely following the discussions going on regarding Mingelhzia. It seems good to write Behmin to our names. And those of us who want to follow the Western culture with regards to Behmin, that is OK—as long as you’re a guy. Now the problem is this:
In the Western culture, the wife follows the family name of the husband. She now belongs to that clan, and no longer to her original clan.
I, who is a Zomi numei, have my own name, and I belong to a certain clan or Beh. For example let us say that my name is Lia Dim Lun Ciin. And let us suppose that my Behmin is Naulak. Now, if I will follow what some of you have proposed, my name is Dim Lun Ciin Naulak. And of course, I will eventually get married. So what happens to my Naulak?
Let’s say my husband is from Sukte Beh. Will I change my name to Dim Lun Ciin Naulak Sukte? If this is the case, can I belong to two beh? Can I belong to Naulak and at the same time to Sukte? How can this be?
Again, if I am going to write my name as Dim Lun Ciin Sukte, am I really Sukte? Naulak cannot become Sukte. But according to the western culture, I have to follow my husband’s Beh. So where is my original identity? As far as I am concerned, in our Zomi culture, it is true that the wife follows the husband. But her Behmin does not change! I may do or perform my duty as a wife in the Sukte’s tradition, but I don’t become a Sukte Beh because of my husband. I still maintain my Naulak Beh.
It is true that my children will become Sukte, but I can never be. I will always be Naulak. So where is the point in using Behmin in our names? As far as I am concerned, we all know our Zomi names. And we do not need to put our Behmin to remind us that we are Zomis or to show superiority of the male gender!
Please do not get me wrong. I am 100% for our existing Zomi culture and tradition. But if we are going to follow the Westerner’s tradition by using family names, or Behmin, it is not logical for us. Where is the identity or clan of a Zomi woman as a person?
One example. In the West, after a woman gets married, it is accepted that she becomes her husband’s clan. But we Zomis still tend to ask “What is the Beh of your wife or your mother?”
So I want to ask a question to those who think we should use our Behmin in our names. What is the point of all these discussion for a Zomi woman, if we really accept that she is a person just like a Zomi man?
Now you might say, “why don’t we use “Zomi” as our family name?” Zomi is not a name. It is a people group. And some of you proposed using Zo+Behmin. If we say Zo without Mi, than we refer to our ‘Zo’ brothers and sisters.
For my conclusion, why can’t we just accept ourselves the way we are? If some Zomis can survive using their real given names even in the West, why can’t we? Is it so hard to explain who we are or are we dying to be like them? We may live in foreign countries, and follow some of their ways. We can be like them, but we can never be them. Zomi is Zomi.
Thank you. Looking forward to hearing your comments.
Mrs. Peng Lam